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[25 Mar 2008|10:09pm] |
( Warded Private )
It's bloody shite very green around here.
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[14 Mar 2008|09:33pm] |
Beverly Malkin
Last weekend I was forced to spend time with one of the dullest, least interesting people I have ever had the misfortune to meet. The teachers at this shite establishment are always preaching about honesty so I’m going to bloody well give them a bit of it for a change. My essay- I call it an essay, but it’s really more a collection of facts that nobody gives half a toss about- is on Beverly Malkin and I’d have done better to sleep all weekend instead of bothering with this bloody punishment.
There is nothing extraordinary about Beverly Malkin. She grew up in a medium sized house in Salisbury which, I can assure you now, nothing ever happens in except for idiotic muggle tourists turning up to have a look at some old stones. Predictably, Malkin lives with her parents and her younger brother and sister. Only her brother comes to Hogwarts and is the only one of the family with much hope of going anywhere. Her sister’s probably a squib or something, even though Malkin’s excuse was some shite rubbish about her not hearing much.
Malkin likes astronomy, which involves looking at the sky for long periods of time and for some inane reason appears to want to be an astronomer. She says that she ‘likes looking at the sun and the moon’, which is the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard. To go with her love for astronomy, Malkin also enjoys reading. All she seems to do is bloody well read and it’s intolerably boring. I’ve had the hardship of having one of her books lobbed at my head before and let me say, it’s not only ruddy painful, but they involve nonsense shite about romance and beaches.
Somehow Malkin has managed to make friends. I’m not sure how, but I’ll be sure to let the rest of the boring, book obsessed morons out there know if I ever find out. She likes to think that she gets on with her dorm mates (one of which is a complete and utter bint- we’ll name no names, but I’ll give you a clue in that she likes to pretend that she can play quidditch) as well as the people in something referred to as ‘the Rainbow Hair Club’. Her proudest moment ever is getting her OWL marks and don’t say I didn’t warn you that she was boring and predictable.
She also likes chocolate but seems incapable of making a decision as to any favourite brand or type.
That had better bloody do.
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[24 Feb 2008|08:45pm] |
I'm never going back to the bloody hospital wing. It stinks in there.
Wish I'd been caught in that storm the other day, anything would've been more interesting than having things thrown at my bloody head.
And what the hell is this truth thing?
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[20 Feb 2008|07:13pm] |
Ugh, shite My head is bloody killing me and I think I'm going to be sick. Can't stop coughing and I feel like I'm going to bloody die and if any of you say anything smart about that then I'm taking you with me Don't even know why I'm writing in this stupid thing when I feel so ill. Must be delirious or
Shite Someone clean that up or the common room is going to stink. I'm going to the hospital wing.
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[03 Feb 2008|07:20pm] |
( Warded Private )
Not long until the quidditch match now. I'd wish the Ravenclaw team good luck if I thought they'd be able to put it to any use, but as it is I'd say it's pointless for them to bother trying to put up any sort of fight against such formidable opponents as my own team.
It'll be Thursday soon enough.
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[10 Dec 2007|07:53pm] |
We'd have won if our keeper was actually playing.
( Warded to Amycus )
( Warded Private )
I shall now tactfully avoid mentioning Hogsmeade. Ha.
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[30 Nov 2007|09:26pm] |
Headmaster's Assignment
I'm refusing to write this assignment, partly because I haven't got anything to write about but mainly because it's a load of rubbish anyway. The only person who's really influenced me is my dad and I don't feel like drivelling on about how utterly wonderful and influential he is. I'm not interested in writing about the area around my house, nor any particular belonging because it's all too bloody personal apart from my broom, which has been done before.
(1. It helps me fly. 2. It gives quidditch a point, it'd be crap on magic carpets and 3. You can use it to beat irritating first years out of the way in crowded corridors) Doesn't take a genius, does it?
Does that constitute as done? Because if it does then it just proves the pointlessness of the whole bloody assignment.
Right then. Onto another stupid assignment. My Christmas Holidays. First, I wake up. Then me and my dad swap presents. Usually I find something to do with quidditch because he doesn't have a clue about anything else that I like and I give him a book of some sort. He heads up to the study to work a little I still don't know what exactly he does do and I go outside, fly about a bit, lob a quaffle around and practise beating. Visit my mum's place for a few minutes if I have time, seeing as no one else is going to bother doing it. Dad comes back downstairs, makes the house elf clean up the muddy trail I leave behind me. We eat Christmas dinner. Some sort of argument happens when I find out that he's invited his latest bint girlfriend bird around for drinks after dinner. All the firewhisky miraculously goes missing; I've got a nice little hiding place for it that he doesn't know about. His woman turns up. I retreat outside to play some more quidditch, sneak in late and go and play quidditch as early as possible when the morning comes around. That's it.
Isn't Christmas just bloody wonderful?
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[16 Nov 2007|10:07pm] |
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PROFESSOR YOXALL'S A MAD, AXE WIELDING MURDERER! SHE VICIOUSLY CHOPPED BINN'S HEAD OFF BEFORE TURNING ON THE FIRSTIES. EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
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[10 Nov 2007|04:09am] |
Interesting, is it not, how the tables turn and turn and turn?
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[07 Nov 2007|07:06pm] |
I suppose I was right to come to the conclusion all those years ago that most Gryffindors lack almost anything worth having.
The masquerade could've been better. Similarly, the fireworks on monday were particularly boring.
( Warded Private )
( Warded to Matilda Dukelow )
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[24 Oct 2007|01:25am] |
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Spit roast for tomorrow's breakfast, anyone?
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[28 Sep 2007|09:17pm] |
I fucking well said they'd I hope
( Warded Private )
It's a shame about Shiver. It was entirely their own fault, but Hardly anybody deserves what they got, even if they did spout off some nonsense.
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